peaceful warrior mask

I’ve been giving my public face a facelift. I don’t want to be reactionary but rathet calm, loving, and peaceful. I thought of the term “peaceful warrior.” Being a teacher, I am a bit of a control freak. I want to lose that. If there is a way to be aloof and yet lead children effectively, I want that. In dealing with colleagues, the same thing. I want to be the sould people turn to who they know will listen. No reacting, just being. Of course there are likely to be times when I have to take control but I don’t need to “let the real me show.” I can do this better by being an actor playing a role. The peaceful warrior comes to mind again as a visual.

Love, acceptance, peace, listening. These are the words I want to embody. A few times recently I have had a chance to really see myself from a distance. For the most part, I have arrived as an adult. Still, I fail when I lose my temper or peace in the moment. That’s the challenge, finding peace in the moment. The way there is going to vary. The more I practice the peaceful warrior as persona, the more naturally he will come out in me. Emanating. People who do puppet shows know what it means to put on a voice or a character. My voice needs to be the peaceful warrior.

5/27/2015 – Sharing the Gift of Me

What if I have it all? I don’t wanna miss it. What if 89% of the world wanted what I have … right now? Why am I wanting anything more. What if i knew when I walked into a room or if someone clicked onto my website, I was already a winner in their mind. No need to prove it. That might affect some things. What if I knew I was a gift to the world but only when I was rested, positive, healthy, and relaxed? I’d work to be that way every day. I’d buy tools to help me create and innovate my gift so as I share it with others, they are pleased and motivated.

A reader came into my class today and read us “The Quiet Cricket.” It was her gift to the kids. What a metaphor. Would you walk into a foreign place where you had to find your own way around to give the gift of you? She did. My kids’ smiles happened as a result. They get tired of hearing the same voice every day. She broke up that monotony for them. This is it, there is no trial run. I want to live my life expressing thanks to those who share their gift with me and work to offer mine in the most understandable and helpful way possible. One way I give to my family is by finding hidden gems to watch. Tonight I plan to do that, plud everyting else I can to share the gift of me.

mediocre blog challenges

I’m overwhelmed by mediocre blog challenges. My biggest flop I got involved with is the Daily Post. Their pingback system is what the whole networking aspect hinges on. Even still, it malfunctions every few days. In fact, currently it doesn’t function at all. Their appeal is the fact that when you pingback to the day’s challenge you are part of a wall of contributors. I get comments on the days their pingbacks work because people can see my pingback. Not so today. This has happened before so I am not expending energy trying to solve the problem. The bottom line is that if I can’t network with other readers, I don’t need their clever prompts. I can either make up my own or try some of the overwhelming number of them out there. I do hope WordPress works it out though, I like Daily Post prompts. I like the goals of ROW80 but so far no readers have stopped by and that’s the buggest reason I do challenges.

I’m blah about work tomorrow. My students are ready for Summer and they have me in the same malaise. Tomorrow we’ll learn about an animal, watch a video about it and then do some curriculum. I did promise them extra PE. Tomorrow is early dismissal but we do have a staff meeting. A lady is coming to talk to us about Lexia, a new program my Principal purchased for us. It could be really cool, especially for low level readers. By that I mean of course, they will increase their level. I really don’t know much about it at all. I think I’ll call about my car tomorrow. It’s still in the body shop. It’s insane how long it takes State Farm to do things, These days all I can think about is the beach. That, and finding new and better ways to network my blog among new readers.

17 May, 2015 21:36

I’m eating too much french toast. It’s so delicious but I really can’t be eating it as often as I am. I think the past 3-4 weekends I’ve been having it. God it’s good. I think about Roger Ebert when he lost his jaw and had to eat through a feeding tube. Talk about a major bummer central. Imagine not tasting or swallowing food. I don’t want to, I’m sure you don’t either.

I changed from O’Reilly’s to Auto Zone in 2 minutes. I’ve always been a Kragen/O’Reilly’s guy from way back. I’ve noticed through the years, falsely, that Auto Zone attracts a more ghetto crowd, until today. O’Reilly’s did not have the brake pads I wanted and the oil section was gutted. Not only did Auto Zone have the pads I needed but the clerk went over and got me the oil and filter I needed. He even gave me a coupon! Sold.

Something frustrated me tonight, actually a couple things today did. I don’t want to talk about specifics but I feel like in both situations I have to be strong enough to let go. It’s not always my job to find a solution to things. Everyone has their handful of stuff they are responsible for and I’d rather focus of quality instead of quantity. As long as I am real with me I can and will sleep soundly at night.

Diary 2015-05-16 19:39:43

I’m watching Saturday Night Fever and thinking about how different it looks compared to when I was a kid. These are supposed to be adults and yet they are 20 years old. I’m 25 years older than them now. I don’t have it all figured out yet. Why did I think I would? It’s a very complex story. When I was young I thought it was just the Bee Gees and dancing. Perspective is such an amazing thing to ponder. How will I view my life now at 45 when I’m 60?

Went to Del Taco tonight, drive thru. I think I have a lifelong addiction to cheese quesadillas. They are not good for me but I just can’t stay away. I also had a root beer. I slipped from my diet bad. I want a flat stomach but I can’t live up to my own expectations every night, right? If you have any diet tips, please share them in the comments.

We’re watching Leap of Faith with Steve Martin on Netflix. I remember it being so damn funny but I don’t remember much. Those are the best movies to watch on Netflix. I’ve grown into my own faith but so many humans give it a bad name, I love movies and comedians who can poke fun at crooked religious people. Society and culture needs that. So many lives have been f’d up by religious people. Faith has also saved a lot so don’t think it’s all bad. At least I don’t. I’d rather sit in the church wing of cynicism though, When it comes time to be real about my faith.

We sat in the jacuzzi tonight, it was heaven. The tiles my wife and her parents did look like the dream mexican tiles you see in fountains at Magic Mountain and Knotts Berry Farm. Tomorrow will include another jacuzzi sit with intermittent sanding down tile calcification. Slow and steady wins the race I always say.

Whiplashed

Watching Whiplash, what a movie! I find it impossible but it’s cool to see a teacher say the F word and throw stuff at his students. Of course I am joking, but it really is a movie like that. That’s an example of the difference between an online diary and a secret diary.

I might not hold back in a personal one. I always wanted to keep an online diary and only until recently have I had the courage and wherewithal to do it. I think everyone should express her/himself every day. For me, it’s become this WordPress interface.

Tomorrow I drop Gizmo at the groomer, take Sarah’s car to get brakes and an oil change, and then get some granulated chlorine to start bringing the pool back in the afternoon. It’s a hootenanny minus the folk singing.

This Whiplash film is worth watching. It shows how teachers can be demanding cuss sons of bitches and how students can be green self-absorbed idiots. It’s exciting, go rent it for sure if you can.

ROW80 Challenge – Check In 5/10/2015

ROW80 Round 2 started April 6, 2015 Checking in late on a Sunday. Here’s a report of my progress toward goals. Daily Post prompt each day. Great practice. I can’t get the full effect because for some reason my blog is not sending ping backs. This could require literally starting again and re importing my … Continue reading ROW80 Challenge – Check In 5/10/2015

Noisy Neighbors

It doesn’t happen that often and in fact hasn’t happened in a long time but as a teacher, I cringe when I hear another teacher lose control of their class. I’ve been in this line of work since 1997 so I completely understand the frustration children can cause when they are breaking the rules on purpose. Especially, of course, when they “won’t shut up.” However, when I hear a teacher yelling, not just raising her/his voice, it makes me cringe. A part of me even feels the urge to step in and assist them with their probably unruly class. I never do though. Each classroom is the sole responsibility of its teacher and stepping in is, to me, a bit of a sacrilege. I’ve had many cringe-worthy moments on the job throughout my career. It is indeed hard to see a fellow professional do something regretful. The following example happened to me when I taught down South years ago.

One year I was occasional exposed to another class where the teacher literally had no control. When we were in a certain room on occasion the kids would bang against the wall we shared. It took everything in me to not go over there. A couple times it was unavoidable. I remember once going in there and seeing kids standing on desks. I asked the teacher to speak with her/his class because the noise level was affecting my class. I actually couldn’t blame my kids for laughing the sounds were so outrageous. You can’t help but cringe when you see another teacher who has lost control of her/his classroom. The worst part of that particular moment was after I spoke to the teacher, he/she said they were sorry could “I” speak to them. Wow, a cry for help and I only a second year teacher at the time. Then one of the kids looked at me and said “Cand ‘YOU’ be our teacher?” That was harsh. I made sure to talk to the teacher later offering my support. It was definitely a cringe-worthy moment but I learned a lot. To this day, I only step in for the most serious of reasons.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Cringe-Worthy.”