My Valentine

Valentine’s Day is only an hour away so I feel inclined to share three of the sweetest things my wonderful husband has ever done for me. In no particular order here they are:

Most thoughtful: As a few of you know I had lap-band surgery last March. Part of the process involves going on a pure liquid diet for three days pre-op, then another five days post surgery. There’s more, but in a nutshell the last real meal you eat before Weight loss surgery becomes known as “The Last Supper” because not only will you not eat anything semi normal for weeks to come, you will never eat the same again. This wasn’t something I whined about to my husband because I was still trying to keep him on board with the process and didn’t want to utter a teensy complaint about it given that it took me a year to get his support as it was. So, four days before my surgery he surprises me with a baby sitter and sweeps me off my feet for a long drive giving me no clues as to where we were going. Two hours later we arrived at the front door of Ruth’s Chris, the best steakhouse ever. He said he wanted my last meal to be the best.

Most creative: Damien has never really caught on to buying jaw dropping gifts. In fact in the early years he didn’t buy them at all. Not entirely his fault since we have almost always been on a mega tight budget and we share a bank account, but he has been in the dog house once or twice regardless. Last year however on my birthday (which also falls on or within days of Mother’s Day) Damien got super creative and took me to Big 5 to pick out my own gift. If you are confused, so was I… at first. But he soon explained that my gift was to spend time with me, in the form of playing tennis together. We picked out rackets and headed to a court for my birthday…it was awesome.

Most Spontaneous: Damien and I hit it off very early. In a matter of three weeks we had a huge list of dates we had been on, including dinners, movies, meeting parents, Disneyland and more. However in our fourth week we ended up on the road to San Diego heading out to Sea World. I had never been, so it was a very magical trip, however I would have never guessed what was to come next. On the drive home we had this mad idea to get married and have a baby. So sure enough, after an official proposal, four weeks later we met at the alter and began our wild adventure toward the Party of Five. I’m not sure he will ever top the spontaneity of proposing one month in and pushing for a wedding 30 days later, but the best may be still yet to come.

Tomorrow is the day…

How many of us I wonder end up in the career we dreamed about as children? I know for me when I was 8 years old and in third grade I was new to the area and didn’t have a friend in the world. My teacher was Mrs. Allen. She was super friendly, and even let me stay in during recess to help grade papers. Yes this sounds a bit corny, but eventually the one friend I made turned out to be the type that only came to school once very other week, so I counted on something to occupy my time. Eventually Mrs. Allen ended up moving to Arizona, but she left such a powerful impression on me that from that day forward I wanted to teach. Once I reached high school I started to think of different professions, and even considered being a CPA, but was again inspired by two incredible teachers in my senior year. I now had an example who made me want to be important in the life of a child, and two others who had gained my respect in making me think on a deeper level. This was when it was certain that I was going to teach one day.

I finished high school with a high GPA, started community college and then oops, found out I was pregnant. I was probably the last person anyone would have ever thought would be entering into single parent hood as I was super responsible and “going places”, but plans were made to be broken, right? I spent the next 4 years raising the sweetest little boy on a waitresses income, and periodically continued going to go to school to get my degree, but sometimes a second job would get in the way and school would get to be too much of a challenge so I would decide to stick with waiting tables.

Just before I met my husband in 2002, I had started going to school full time again and finally pushed through my AA and started my BA. I gotta say I hit many bumps in the road, including a hectic mommy schedule with two additional pregnancies and added family members, as well as frustrations with myself for waiting so long to finish. Plus each time I would run into someone who I had told I was going to be a teacher it would remind and embarrass me that I still wasn’t doing it.

Now, the point of this long winded post is that tomorrow is a super big day for me. I am going to be walking on to my first campus as a teacher. Ok, well actually substitute teacher for now, but still a huge milestone for me. What seemed like an impossible goal for awhile there is now actually happening. I will be finished with my BA in just 5 months and I can not believe I have made it here. I am super nervous and am not sure I will be able to sleep too well tonight, but I can say without a doubt that I am glad I didn’t give up when the tough got going. Wish me luck that I don’t fall flat on my face on day 1.

Another year ending

Bored out of my mind, not wanting to do the dishes, and watching the Twilight Zone Marathon (even though I have almost every episode practically memorized), I decided to write my own meme to conclude 2007. I?m not going to pressure anyone into responding with a tag, but I?d love it if you felt like playing along. Without further ado, here it is.

1. What is your happiest memory of 2007?
Adding the youngest Riley to our family. She was unexpected, but made our family complete

2. What was your worst memory of 2007?

The dumb nurses who insisted I wasn?t in labor and made me go home only to end up almost having the baby in the ambulance on the way back and never getting any pain killers as a result, grrrr.

3. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Finally reaching a point in my education where I no longer have to fall back on waitressing in times of need. Damn that feels good!

4. Did you take any memorable trips in 2007?
Two. An Anniversary Weekend away with hubby, that was everything I had hoped for, and a girls only day trip to Las Vegas.

 

5. What song comes to mind when you think of 2007?

Don?t Blink- Kenny Chesney. A big reminder that life is short and the kids will be grown before we know it.

6. Is there anything you are hoping to do or have in 2008 that you didn?t in 2007?

My Bachelors Degree. It has been many years in the making, so it?s hard to believe now that the goal line is right around the corner.

7. Any regrets for 2007?

Not only did I not lose weight, but I gained, ugh

8. Best purchase of 2007?

Hubby bought me a laptop after I got him one for Christmas…yeaa!

9. Favorite movie of 2007?

Dan in Real Life- Very Cute!

10. Did you pick up any new hobbies in 2007?

During my nesting phase of pregnancy I decided sewing was the solution to everything and bought my first machine. Included in my very few projects was this little dress for the toddler:

 

Also in August hubby convinced me to start a blog of my own hence the beginning of Party of Five.

To all of my readers I wish you a safe a fun New Year’s Eve and A Happy New Year!!

 

Silly Pet Peeve

A few of you may know that I was a single mom for four years. By single mom I mean I raised my son on my own. No government assistance, no handouts from others, no free programs which covered daycare, and no help from another parent. Single by every definition. Therefore the burden fell on me to handle it all. Not just finances, but the whole kit-n-kaboodle. Discipline, morals, entertainment, and transportation. It didn’t leave much room for change in jobs as I had to match schedules and required a specific income.

Now, my point in explaining all of this is not for any pats on the back or otherwise as I have been truly blessed from the beginning with supportive friends and family and have no regrets in how my life has turned out, however recently I have begun to hear the term “single mom” used very loosely. It has turned into an annoying pet peeve of mine to hear a woman with a child (or children) who have separated from their partners calling themselves single moms. Meanwhile they have weekends off, financial assistance, or a simple person to call on when things aren’t going so well. Weather you hate your ex or not, if they are still in the picture and participating, you are not a single parent, it’s called co parenting. I can see that doing it from sepparate house while you are taking on the bulk of the burden may stink, but it is still not single parenting.

Single moms do not get weekends off without finding childcare, and that is a rare event. It isn’t something that happens every week, or even every other week. If you hate your job, you can’t just quit because you are the only source of income. Unless you have exceptional childcare, there is no one to call on when you have unplanned changes in scheduling. If your kid gets hurt, or in trouble, no one else is there to call on for help or to lessen the burden by having another parent to bounce it off. Granted, having a second parent doesn’t mean that all your troubles are solved, as I am certain I was better off raising my son on my own than having his loser father in the picture. I am simply saying if you have a somewhat involved second parent in the picture who cares for his kid(s), then stop calling yourself a single mom and count your blessings that you can come up for air sometimes.

When did Saturday night turn into just another night?

Tonight when dh and I went for our evening walk we passed two parties, and I suddenly realized it was a Saturday night. It started me wondering just when I stopped noticing the difference between Monday and weekends. Though I was never the life of the party, there was a time when Friday and Saturday night plans were booked by Wednesday. And it made no difference if you were working a late shift, because nobody planned to start their night until after eleven anyways. Oh and for the weekends when you had no plans but just winged it going out for a movie, or hanging out with your friends at the local pool hall; no pre-planning or major wardrobe concerns, just hanging out at a dive where everyone was smoking cloves and playing songs off the juke box? The night generally ended up at an In N Out or Denny’s, where everyone split one combo because funds were lacking, but these were definitely good times.

Selective Memory

Isn’t it amazing how our brain works, shutting out the moments we would really rather not recall? Recently I remembered probably the single most embarrassing thing I have ever done. See I was 21 with a new baby, and our local gas station allowed you to pump before paying. So I started the gas pumping, then got the baby out to go in and pay. I believe I walked around the convenience store while waiting for the gas to stop pumping, then paid, got the baby back in the car and was on my way. Somehow in this exchange I forgot a crucial step of the process, and it didn’t come to my attention until I arrived at my destination.

That’s right my dear friends, similar to the photo scene here, I forgot to take the nozzle out of my car. And to make matters worse, I didn’t realize this until I had driven over three miles and arrived at my destination where my unemployed, druken ex came out to laugh his ass off at me and call his stoned buddies out to laugh as well. At the time I wasn’t amused in the slightest, however now in the retelling of it, as my nine year old and hubby laugh until they almost wet themselves, it seems hilarious.