Is this it?
Do you ever wonder what purpose you serve? I don?t mean this on a sulky, ?woes me? level, I just mean what precisely is my duty in life and when will I start looking forward to doing it?
I wake up early every day, get going with the kids, have something that inevitably calls me away from home, which steals so much time in the minimal details. For example doctors appointments, or grocery shopping, where I need to dress the girls, hope for good moods, then rush home to unload and put everything away, before my son gets out of school. Then it?s time to start working on naps, and basic maintenance of the many toys lying around. Then get dinner started. After dinner I of course don?t want to wash dishes, put away dinner, or bathe the kids, but every so often I do anyways. On the nights I don?t bother, the following morning begins as the previous day, only with several complete colonies of ants browsing the Rio style buffet we have generously left for them.
It is not as if I don?t feel my family is worthy of all of this, however how many days in my life can repeat in this fashion before it becomes like a broken record playing the same verse over and over again? What?s worse is the condition of my house most days. Even though my kitchen and living room are cleaned almost daily, they never stay that way long enough for anyone to witness it. When friends drop in and there are streaks of something sticky running down the couches, or dark stains in the center of the floor, and smudges of who knows what on every door jam and light switch, I think to myself what they are probably thinking ?geez, does this woman ever clean her house?? Shouldn?t this be gratifying knowing that I am supposedly doing the most important job there is? When precisely do the feelings of fulfillment begin?
Very well put!
I’ve been asking myself the very same questions. I have 4 children all spaced one year apart. (I know, what was I thinking?) Temporary insanity.
I always thought when they got a little older, I’d stop having stains on everything, messes everywhere I looked and popcorn ground into the carpet. Ummmm, no.
Now I have 4 teenagers who bring herds of other teenagers over to flop down on the couch, eat me out of house and home and make even bigger messes. And the bedrooms? OMG! I just close the doors.
By the time I drive the teenagers back and forth to school, work and then pick up all the teenagers and drive them to all the activities, I am wiped and I haven’t even cleaned the house yet. But, like you, if I take a night off, it’s just double the disaster.
I struggly with the fulfilling part, too, because most of the time it’s just “running like a nut” and cleaning which is not very exciting.
But then, I look at them and I think 2 years from now my oldest will be off to college and each one right after that and how much I will miss them when they move on. I think that’s the fulfilling feelings.
Jessica The Rock Chick
Jessica: 4 kids all one year apart? The fact that you are still coherent makes you my new hero. Are you blogging from a padded cell?
Darlin’, when you get as old as I am, you will look back on these days with wistful longing. It will be momentary, you’ll snap out of it, but you will miss it. You know how you forget the pain of childbirth after it’s done (of course you do, you have 4 kids!)? You’ll have that same memory lapse. You won’t remember how dog tired you are right now. You’ll just remember the beauty of those babies. I’m not going to tell you it’s going to get easier. That would be lying. They will become teenagers (and you will discover the reason that some animals eat their young). You’ll live over that, too. Hang in there.
Oops. I gave you an extra kid…sorry
Shelly: I know you are right, because my son was already approaching seven when the second one was born and I could barely recall anything about those early years. As eager as I am to pass through this stage, I am trying to appreciate it as well since it is the last time any of my kids will be this sweet and innocent, and when they are teens maybe I’ll get lucky, ha ha ha. One can hope!